A new found confidence

A new found confidence 

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I started calling myself a musician. Even though I'd been writing, playing and performing my own music for a long time I still couldn't bring myself to say the word 'musician' when asked the common question 'what do you do?'. Let alone get passed the wall of cringe to utter the word 'songwriter'. 

I was having a conversation with a 'writer' when I had the epiphany. 

We'd just met, and I asked what she did. I'm a writer, she said. I was instantly interested to find out more about her, she must be good at it, she must be doing really cool stuff I thought. As it turns out she was pitching some TV ideas to the ABC and writing a book on the side. Wow, just wow, I thought. 

Later in the conversation as we continued to chat about this and that, she also mentioned that she worked 5 days a week as a receptionist. WHAT! But you just called yourself a writer! 

I wasn't sure what to think now. I was confused. How could someone have the gall to call themselves a writer if they didn't earn any money from it and worked 9-5 doing something else. At first I thought she was deceitful for telling me she was a writer. I didn't even call myself a musician and yet I had been touring with my band and releasing music for years. 

But after thinking about it a little more I realised she was being courageous. But more to the point, she was correct. 

It didn't matter what she had to do to earn an income. The thing she spent all her time thinking about and working on was her writing. That was the thing she was passionate about, the thing she was proud of. That's how she defined herself. 

And that's what she taught me. It's so important how you define yourself because it's not only the message you're sending out to the world but also the message you're sending to yourself. 

I hadn't yet found the confidence to define myself as a songwriter and musician because I was embarrassed that I'd never really made any proper money from it. 

But the truth is, money isn't how a person’s artistic merit should be judged. Money is something we all need some of in this society to, well, you know, eat and stuff..   but you'd be hard pressed to find an artist who was originally inspired to do what they do for the money.

There are much, much easier ways to make that stuff. 

This might be obvious to some. But it wasn't obvious for me and unfortunately I spent a big part of my artistic life feeling like a bit of an imposter. 

But luckily I've seen the light.  I've now spent nearly 10 years in the same band, it's a band I started with my sister and friends, we're called the Little Stevies. I write some songs on my own, and I write a lot of songs with my sister, and we're really good at it now, because we've been doing it for so long.

Just recently my sister and I made our 5th collection of songs into an album. Last year we returned from our third tour of North America. Later this year we'll tour within Australia again and play gig number 'five hundred and something'. And I can't wait. 

It's occurred to me that I might never make any proper money out of my music, it's also occurred to me that my band might never find a level of notoriety that would be considered successful to some. And it's at those times I wonder if I should do something else.  But what else would I do? This is my passion, this is what I'm good at, this is what I'm proud of, this is who I am. 

I'm a songwriter and musician, just ask me.

- Byll 

Bittersweet at its finest

Thought it was about time for another installment of what’s been happening in our world at present.  As many of you probably know, just 3 weeks ago Byll and her partner Tom gave birth to the most gorgeous little bub.  He is the apple of everyone’s eye at the moment and he and his besotted parents are all doing amazingly well.  As the younger one, I give thanks everyday that I get to watch my older sister go through everything first, pave the way, make life a little less terrifying.  Well, some things less terrifying..

There have also been many good hours dedicated to continuing writing and demoing for this new album that we are due to make before the end of the year.  Though as we’ve discovered, having a newborn baby around can be rather distracting to the required amount of discipline needed to come up with genius work and sometimes ‘writing sessions’ have quite quickly turned into simply looking at the baby do hilarious baby faces for two hours.

A strange sequence of events did however occur when within 24 hours of a significant birth, our grandma who has been battling Alzheimer’s disease for the past five years and fought palliative care for 5 weeks towards the end, waited long enough to welcome her first great grandson before finally slipping away.  All things certainly do happen for a reason, which makes me believe that it was no coincidence, but rather a carefully timed handing over of life. 

Thankfully there was light brought to our grandma’s funeral when to close the service a recorded version of our song ‘Grandma’ was played in honour of her.  Through a muck of tears, we were stunned into quiet laughter when the play button was hit and our song was played at a tempo that made our already sweet voices turn chipmunk(!)  We thought we were young when we recorded that song, but this was something else. 

So now we enter the period of existing as the generation in the middle.  It is quite strange as most brand new roles often are, but it is also unbelievably exciting in a way I never would have expected.  Though I guess that’s what happens when you recognize yourself growing up, hey.

Beth 

A new chapter: with change, comes opportunity

It’s been a pretty constant couple of years of solid touring and recording for us Little Stevies, and this week marks the beginning of a long earned rest that we are all very much looking forward to.  After kicking off the year with a very fun Victorian all ages beach tour and then three delightful months of house concerts all around Oz, meeting wonderfully lovely and interesting people and having an all round corker of a time, we have now reached a new chapter. 

As we say a musical farewell to our brother from another mother, Robin, Byll and I will be spending the next few months working on a couple of side projects we have in the works until we hit the studio again a bit later this year to make a new album.  While Byll is renovating a house and preparing for motherhood, I continue plodding along with a master’s degree and keep in practice by working on a first release for my pop, beat heavy duo, Sugarcraft.  Also remembering that albums don’t just appear out of nowhere, while side projects are being worked on, Byll and I continue to practice our engineering skills in comfy warm winter repellent homes while we continue demoing new songs about our next phases of life. 

But although we and our touring vehicle are more than ready for a good clean and refurbish right about now, it’s only a matter of time before we get itchy feet and feel the need to get out and play live again.  So of course it won’t be long until we hit the stage with a new show, particularly with the help of an additional little built in roadie who will be getting some accelerated work experience in the first year of his life.   

As I’ve been told by numerous strangers of late, ‘with change comes opportunity’, so it feels like appropriate timing after nine years of us making nothing into something together with Robin, to welcome a fresh start with just the girls as we enter the next decade of music making and ever changing touring adventures.

Stay tuned folks, because there’s a hell of lot on the horizon and we’ll be making sure we keep you all up to date and privy with all the nasty and hilarious details.      

Beth 

'Yacht with diamonds'

I have been lucky enough to have a job at a pretty cool toy shop for the last five years with amazing bosses who allow me to come and go in between touring, and who have allowed me to do that from the very beginning. Most days at the toy shop turn out to be fairly similar, but every now and then something happens that really stays with me, like today.

A lady in her eighties or there abouts came in to buy her best friend a birthday present. She told me that her friend had recently moved into a nursing home because of on-set dementia. It always fascinates me how people in their elderly years can speak about deeply affecting issues in a way that seems to be so calm and non-emotional. In reality I know that’s not the case at all, but I must admit that a small part of me can’t wait for old age as it seems to me that that is the point where a person makes peace with everything that they are, everything that they’ve done and everyone in their life. I can only speak for myself, but that would be a pretty handy tool to have in your twenties, I think.

She told me that she asked her friend what she wanted for her birthday and her friend replied with ‘I want a yacht with diamonds!’. Not an unreasonable request I thought for someone who has undeservingly been dealt the short straw of an illness nobody should have to live through. She asked me if I had what she needed, so I pulled the ladder out, climbed up to one of the top shelves and brought down a wooden yacht with a body painted blue and white sails that made it stand to a tall 30cm high. Her face lit up for a moment and I could see a sparkle of gratitude fly out of her. She then followed by saying not to worry about the diamonds, in a ever so slightly disappointed yet throw away manner as if she was trying to convince herself it was too much of a ridiculous request. But I haven’t been working in a toy shop all this time for nothing, I thought. I pondered for a moment and went to collect something else. I came back rather swiftly and presented her with a selection of diamanté rings that would normally go on the wedding ring finger of a seven year old. The only difference was that today it was going to be used to make the dreams come true of someone a lot older in age, but to the same level of excitement that it does for young girls who dream about being a bride one day. She picked up a light purple ring covered in diamonds and placed it on the mast of the yacht. It looked perfect. She knew it, I knew it and we both knew without saying it that her friend would think it was perfect too.

Beth

House Concerts. What a brilliant concept.

I must write something about the weekend that has just been, because it was just too damn good not to give it a special mention.

As you may know already, after having a blast of a time experiencing the beauty of the house concert over in Canada on our travels recently, we decided to steal the idea from a place where it is hugely popular, bring it home with us to a place where it is not so popular, and try and share the love of it with all of our loyal Aussie audiences, because we simply can't contain our excitement for it.

Last weekend marked the beginning of what will be a long line of house concerts that we will be doing over the next few months, all around Australia, and gee, if the weekend is anything to go by then we have got a bucket load of good times ahead, and will have more stories and memories at the end of it than we can poke a stick at.

We played on a gorgeous tropical farm minutes out of Lismore, up North, to a wonderful and lively bunch of faces new and old, we played at what felt like a small outdoor festival in its early birthing years in Brisbane to again one of the most enthusiastic and supportive bunch of people we've ever come across, and played at the most spectacular forest residence (what I like to call the 'treehouse') on an outdoor fairy-lit stage, surrounded by National Park, to once again a terrific audience. All our hosts were super fantastic and provided the perfect settings.

We've said this before and we'll keep on saying it, but being able to put family friendly shows on really does mean so much to us as a group and to be able to do this in an intimate space, to an audience of people who are a small community for each other; whether they be family, friends, neighbours or friends of friends, really just puts the cherry on top for us. Watching this, reminds
me so much of the endless good times we had as kids growing up being exposed to live music in a home environment and making it with our parents and friends of the same age, double, and triple our age. It didn't matter what age anyone was, just as long as everyone was having fun, enjoying themselves, felt safe and supported.

I must stop before I get all too mushy and sensitive, because if I ever wanted to try for a hipster cool image while I live out my twenties, confessing how moved I was by the whole thing really won't help my cause. But seriously, we had a mega awesome few days and cannot wait for the rest of these concerts.

Beth

Practice, say what?!

Apparently to learn a language or instrument when an adult, your chances of developing dementia is lessened dramatically.

You may ask what part of the brain is used in this scenario, so I’ll tell you. It’s the part that hurts. The part that has a direct connection to the outside of your face, that screws up in pain when using it. This is one of the first things my piano teacher told me in our first lesson, last week. So you can imagine my enthusiasm to get to it, so in the end my mind outlives my body.

Yes, I have begun taking piano lessons. After learning through primary school and somehow graduating from a music degree where I somehow passed ‘piano class’ three years ago, I am now at the point where I am ready to learn, because I want to. I have successfully not retained anything that I learnt when it was a task I had to do, but that’s ok. I have now become at one with the challenge of learning a new instrument and have the most important ingredient of self-motivation on my side. There’s one more essential ingredient when wanting something bad enough to do something about it, and that is green envy. I keep meeting these freakishly talented musicians who call themselves, say, a guitarist, but actually play five other instruments and five other variations of those instruments as well. I’m not going to lie, it makes me jealous. I can’t go to another jam session and just sit there, hoping I’ll get the chance to play one of my own songs and everyone will just play along with me. I need to be able to add some sprinkle to everything else.

So, wish me luck. I’m thinking I’m going to need it, because the thought of conventional practice is still swaying between making me feel sick, and making me feel sexy. And I need to get to the sexy feeling, period.

Beth

Bon Appetit!

It’s amazing how much time you can spend at home just doing a whole lot of nothing, thinking about how much you would like to be doing something, but have no idea what it is you might like to do. It’s also amazing how worthwhile it is to read your local neighbourhood paper or newsletter every once in a while, because every now and then you come across an ad for something that just seems appealing enough to move for. It also helps when it costs very little and is a whole lot of good quality.

Tonight, we Little Stevies took part in a 2 ½ hour Italian cuisine cooking class at the nearby community centre, and it was awesome fun. Byll found the ad, she needed a partner, I can’t cook, so I was the perfect candidate.

It’s definitely one of those things that I would have found extremely daggy a few years ago, particularly if it was something mum had of suggested during her quest to make us join clubs a while back. She said “It’s important to meet new people and spend time doing other activities as well as the band”. Maybe that was mum’s way of communicating concern for how much focus we had chosen to put into such an uncertain career path, having been there and done it herself when she was our age. But for whatever reason she said it, turns out parents aren’t always as crazy as you think they are in retrospect. The thought did occur to me this evening of why I hadn’t done something like this before now.

So we made pasta. Now I know what you’re thinking, pasta, pretty easy dish right? But we actually MADE the pasta. Got the flour, eggs, oil, and salt, kneaded it, thinned it, put it through the machine and ended up with a big plate of fresh homemade spaghetti that we devoured with a cold glass of bubbly rose, under a spell of Italian Oprah. I couldn’t believe how proud I felt and how satisfying it was to eat pasta that I had made with my bare hands. I was really doubtful that I would ever be able to do that. But as good as it was I’m also doubtful I will ever have the impulse to spent hours making a meal with that much detail again. Bless the people who are naturally talented chefs and whom I can simply buy their creations from. Sometimes I think we are just wired a certain way. But I’m still hopeful I will one day be able to cook a meal for my children when I one day have them… Maybe a meal… Maybe… We’ll see…

Beth